The Unfortunate Film Review

The PLOT: Two hillbillies find themselves amidst a group of stereotypical college kids seeking fun in the woods, when a hilarious series of misunderstandings causes the perception of murderous inbred psychopaths and suicidal death cults.  The CAST: Alan Tudyk, Tyler Labine The GOOD: Mostly? Alan Tudyk... but I'm biased (Firefly rules). The comedy in this film played out in a style I haven't seen since a Mel Brooks film.  The humor is dark, but it's hard not to laugh when everything happens in these wonderfully written sequences.  I went into TnDvE thinking that it would be both predictable and juvenile, but I was pleasantly surprised by the slapstick comedy that was presented in a "non-Jim Carey" fashion.   The BAD: The primary antagonist should've been played by Chris Hemsworth. Small gripe, but there you have it.  The guy they got ruined that role and really took the fear out of the film.  Bigger guys are scarier than scrappy doo.  The UNFORT...

The PLOT: The year is 2044, time travel will be invented in 30 years, and the mafia will control it and use it to send people they need whacked back in time 30 years where hitmen called "loopers" wait to punch large holes in the with high powered Blunderbusses... Er, Blunderbi? The CAST: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Jeff Daniels The GOOD: Most of this movie.  I had to let it sink in for 2 days to be honest, but this film was so well directed with such a perfect plot that I struggle to think of many things that were terribly wrong with it.  The acting was amazing, especially on Gordon-Levitt's part, since he had to recreate a younger Bruce Willis while looking physically nothing like him and so being forced to wear prosthetic material which ALSO was quite well done. Shitty sentence structure? I digress. The jewel of this film is the story.  The subtle inclusion of important elements NOT present in any of the trailers made this film that much more enjoyable. ...

**Foreword: I am aware that in my last post, I said I'd be reviewing Star Wars.  I couldn't find the time or patience to embark on that escapade, so please enjoy this retroreview in the meantime. The PLOT: During the civil war era, a not-so-noble-as-everyone-thinks-he-is captain is stationed at a remote encampment whereupon he meets a survivor who tells a grisly tale with feigned remorse.... Then things get interesting. The CAST: Robert Carlyle, Guy Pearce, David Arquette, Jefferey Jones The GOOD:   This is a GREAT film for movie lovers to debate about, because I've heard that many people actually hate this movie.  The truth is the photography and music are so well integrated with the plot and acting that it's hard to think of many other films done quite so well.  And I'm not just talking about other horror films. I mean all films.  While the film might lull a bit in plot at points as well as be completely unbelievable, it does well enough to show caus...

*THIS FILM IS AVAILABLE TO WATCH ON NETFLIX INSTANT STREAMING* The PLOT: Star Wars/Indiana Jones nerds unite to get it all off of their chests... all that hot... greasy... George Lucas... stuff... finally. They've cleaned it off. Finally. The CAST: Lots and lots of awesome nerds. The GOOD:   Let's start off by pointing out that everyone has an opinion.  Which is funny, because NO ONE adheres to his or her own opinion (as though it were gospel) the way that Star Wars fans do. Which is clearly depicted in this film.  The movie's charm is obvious from the get go, with penciled-in opening credits that laughably oversimplify the career of George Lucas.  From there, we get to know some of the film's more serious fans as they explain why they love this franchise so much.... Which, of course, gets truly nasty as we come into the chapter about Mr. Lucas' more recent creative endeavors.  Honestly, I began watching the film because I was positive it would be bor...

The PLOT:   Two brothers that survived an alcoholic father, both in their own way, seek to win a world championship MMA tournament; one to take care of his family's outstanding debts, the other to take care of a fallen military comrade's family. The CAST: Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte, Joel Edgerton The GOOD: Well, for starters, it's quite easy for me to say that this is the best film I've ever seen involving the UFC... Primarily because this is the ONLY film I've ever seen about the UFC, but also because it was in all actuality, quite a good film.  The photography was outstanding.  Towards the beginning of the film, different lens filters were used to clearly differentiate between Brendan's happy family and Tommy's dysfunctional lifestyle.  The direction was done more artistically than one would expect in a fighting film.  Yes, it had over-the-top elements of "underdog-wins-all" reminiscent to that of Rocky.  And Rocky 2.  And 3. And pretty much ever...

The PLOT: A group of Norwegian students seek to document a series of killings believed to be done by bears, but things take a turn for the interesting when they meet a hunter who boisterously proclaims.... "TROLL!!!" The CAST: Otto Jespersen, Robert Stoltenberg, Knut Naerum The GOOD: People have been trying to replicate the success of the found-footage film "The Blair Shit Project" since it was first released in '99, and almost all of them have failed miserably.  Yes, a simply few like "Paranormal Activity" have come quite close, but once something is done a certain way, it seems to be a near-impossible feat to accomplish a second time... Unless you put a shit-load of Trolls in it, loads of blood, and feel like you're part of a hunt.  And guess what? This film does just that.  *Spoiler alert*  There's fucking Trolls in this movie.  No, it's not a euphemism for the big corporate America screwing over other countries.  No, it's not ...

The PLOT:   A Stuntman/getaway driver falls in love with a married woman and has to clean up after her fuck-up of a husband. The CAST: Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Albert Brooks, Bryan Cranston, and Ron Perlman The GOOD:  See, this is where I have a difficult time selling films to your average viewer.  Here was a brilliant film for so MANY things OUTSIDE of acting and dialogue, and yet most people allow these things to go unnoticed.  For starters, this film is CLEARLY a movie that attempts (and succeeds at) bringing back the cool guy flick from days long gone. The likes of "Cool Hand Luke" mixed with "Scarface" come to mind.  It's a genre that was thought to be dead and yet successfully resurrected Nicolas Winding Refn's brilliant direction.  It wasn't subtle or even original, but it contained so many well framed shots that you'd have to be blind to miss the art behind them.  To imagine being an actor in this film, one would think you wouldn...

The PLOT:   A young girl is tormented by nightmares of a history she's never known from a town long since burned to ashes, whilst her mother seeks to right whatever wrong might have transpired to make her daughter this way... at any cost. The CAST:  Radha Mitchell, Sean Bean, Deborah Kara-Unger The GOOD:  Director Christophe Gans takes us on a thrill ride all its own in this loose adaptation of the hit videogame series.  EVERYTHING about this movie was done with a passion not seen in other videogame adaptations, such as "Resident Evil" 1-20, "Street Fighter", and "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within".  From the editing to the subtle camera work we saw in this franchises first installment being copied over to a new form of media that only aficionados of the games could realize, this film has it all.  The vibe. The fear. The character development. Perhaps it's just that I'm a fanboy of the games and of the town, but the fact remains: we've a...

PLOT: A reimagining of the last days of Edgar Allan Poe's life in which a serial killer/stalker is reenacting various elements from several of his grisly tales in an attempt to challenge the poet to a battle of wits. Starring: John Cusack, Alice Eve, Luke Evans THE GOOD: ...is simply that it "wasn't bad".  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't good either, but it just has too many elements that were done with such mediocrity that it actually blended into a bowl of believable and somewhat satisfying intellectual distractions. And, to be fair, how would YOU have done a reimagining of the last days of Edgar Allan Poe's life?? Actually, if you had any sense, you wouldn't, because... THE BAD: Sadly, there were quite a few bad things about this film.  The acting is done in such a way as to make me believe the director was tight on time and took too many "good enough" takes.  The plot as a whole is hardly believable and the villain is too drama...

Hey all! This is just to let you know that I plan on taking up my hobby of reviewing movies again, this time utilizing the blogger page! Any friends supporting are greatly appreciated! First review to come soon, just testing out this format....